Where on earth does one start with this piece? The author, Kate Fridkis, frets about how she is too young to have babies in her 20s.
For starters, here is an example of modern female thinking:
"I want to have a baby, but I don't want to want to have a baby. Instead, I want to not want to have a baby while I want to have a fabulous career. And then, after I have this fabulous career that I am hoping to have and am possibly beginning to have, I can want to have a baby. That would be better."
Confused yet? Dizzy?
"I can't have a baby because I'm way too scared. I'm way too unfinished. I am just starting out."
Unfinished? Wow. I never heard it put that way before.
"But I do know that here, in this city, at this age, having a baby is not the thing to do. It is probably the last thing to do.""It is a problem because my generation is bursting with young women who are taking over cities, out-earning their male counterparts, flinging themselves at their highest goals. It is a problem because I never imagined being a mom. That was never one of my fantasies. So my daydreams are confused."
"It is a problem because I am the modern woman, but I am afraid of letting her down."
Why did she never imagine being a mom? Because the culture never presented it as a valid option. Women of this generation were not prepared to be moms or warned that when they did get to their 20s nature would come banging on their door. She was encouraged to follow one path her entire life and now from deep within another path is calling; one that is so foreign to the modern woman that she is too embarrassed and afraid to even admit she wants to have babies in her twenties. And ultimately, she is afraid of not living up to the image of a "modern woman". A woman who has this much fear and confliction doesn't sound very liberated. She is a slave to our culture.
As crazy as the article is, it is a really good example of how feminism has conflicted woman and pitted them against their own instinctual, God given urges.
Surprisingly, a feminist commenter on the original article, Sharon Boling, had some of the best advice:
"First let me say that I am a feminist. I did everything just like you did.
However, the dirty little secret is that our eggs quality falls after age 30, then after 40 forget it.
I have gone through 8 surgeries, 3 IUI's, 4 in vitro fertilization attempts, 20 years of trying to have a child.
I say screw it. If your heart is saying it is time to start trying - then go for it. There will never be a perfect time.
You are young, you are healthy I presume. Career will always be there. It is a dirty little secret that putting off having children is possible. It IS NOT. Unless of course you are willing to risk going on the fertility treadmill.
I wish to G-d, that I had gotten pregnant in my 20's. Even my teens. Compared with none, I would have chosen being an unwed mother instead of the grief of never having a child."